He Fought The Law Alert™: "Dog" in bloody barroom fight!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

It's the dog days of summer, so this afternoon the stories are all about dogs. The low rent Examiner tells us that low rent reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter got into a bloody barroom brawl.

And I always thought of him as a level headed and upstanding gentleman.

No, wait, I must be thinking of someone else. It'll come to me.

He Fought The Law Alert™: "Dog" in bloody barroom fight!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

It's the dog days of summer, so this afternoon the stories are all about dogs. The low rent Examiner tells us that low rent reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter got into a bloody barroom brawl.

And I always thought of him as a level headed and upstanding gentleman.

No, wait, I must be thinking of someone else. It'll come to me.

Meanest story nominee: Willie Prison shocker!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

The low rent Examiner tells a true story this week, also reported by reputable news agencies, that Willie Nelson faces jail time because as they put it, "Judge throws the book at country star".

Here are the details, found online. Willie smokes the herb. We already knew that. He got caught smoking and was put on trial. He's an old guy, and a famous one to boot, so the trial judge said that instead of jail time, Willie could come by the court house and sing Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain. ANOTHER butt-inski judge hears about this, says it isn't fair because other people caught smoking herb aren't given this option and, just to be fair, gives the 78 year old singer two years in jail.

You know, just to be fair. Because if we don't apply our stupid draconian laws fairly, people will stop having respect for them.

Through no fault of the low rent Examiner, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Willie Prison shocker!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 1 August 2011

The low rent Examiner tells a true story this week, also reported by reputable news agencies, that Willie Nelson faces jail time because as they put it, "Judge throws the book at country star".

Here are the details, found online. Willie smokes the herb. We already knew that. He got caught smoking and was put on trial. He's an old guy, and a famous one to boot, so the trial judge said that instead of jail time, Willie could come by the court house and sing Blue Eyes Cryin' In The Rain. ANOTHER butt-inski judge hears about this, says it isn't fair because other people caught smoking herb aren't given this option and, just to be fair, gives the 78 year old singer two years in jail.

You know, just to be fair. Because if we don't apply our stupid draconian laws fairly, people will stop having respect for them.

Through no fault of the low rent Examiner, this is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.